What’s the Difference Between Fighting and Arguing with Your Partner?

Mindful Healing_Whats The Difference Between Fighting And Arguing With Your Partner

FIGHTING VS ARGUING

When you have a conflict with your partner you may refer to it as a fight. We don’t mean fisticuffs; we mean a verbal fight. Other times we say we had an argument. Do they mean the same thing or are they different? They are different. In a fight someone has to win. In an argument, there is no goal to win, the goal is for both parties to listen.

HOW TO AVOID FIGHTING

First, acknowledge that there is a conflict and embrace it. Conflicts are not negative; in fact, they are opportunities to improve relationships. If they get ignored, resentment can poison the relationship. See it as an opportunity for both of you to resolve something. After practicing as a couple, you will look forward to resolving issues while building trust in one another. Define the issue and the outcome you want.  Set a specific time to discuss. Sometimes it is best to let things cool down. Later in the day is best, you don’t want these issues to go unresolved overnight. These are only three tips. If you want more, check out 13 Rules for Fair and Healthy Fighting in Relationships.

HOW TO ARGUE IN A RELATIONSHIP

Conflicts are healthy, embrace them and look forward to resolving them. The key for both sides is listening. When you are both actively listening, it doesn’t feel like a fight—because it stops being a fight if both parties are listening. Remember, there are issues on both sides that need to be resolved. Blame is not the goal. Sure, there may be some responsibility on either or both sides—but that is very different from blame. Seek opportunities to accept responsibility and acknowledge your role.

BE MINDFUL OF THE MOMENT

Mindful Healing is more than Therapy and Counseling. We are about helping you be mindful in every area in your life. When you are mindful, you feel a sense of freedom from being in a judgmental state. It is an awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, and experiences from moment to moment.  Mindfulness is for everyone and a gift you can give yourself.

 

If you live in Portland or the Portland area and want help with

couples or poly counseling or learn about mindfulness training,

E-MAIL US OR CALL US AT 503-878-8588 TO SCHEDULE YOUR INTAKE TODAY.

 

Polyamorous Relationship Resources in Portland

polyamourous-counseling

In July of 2016, The Guardian US wrote an article titled Polyamorous in Portland: the city making open relationships easy citing Portland as one of the most tolerant cities regarding consensual non-monogamous relationships. Three years later, and there are multiple resources for the polyamorous community. However, the term may still be new, even to those who may already be curious, so let’s get some polyamorous vocabulary defined.

Polyamory (“Poly” for short): Engaging in multiple romantic relationships simultaneously with the consent and knowledge of all parties.

Ethical Non-Monogamy: This is a broader term for multiple simultaneous romantic relationships with the consent of all parties. This includes poly relationships, open relationships, and swinging.

Compersion: It is the opposite of jealousy. Feeling joy when another person is feeling joy.

Non-Hierarchical Relationships: In poly relationships, there are still unique relationships between any two parties. Generally speaking, in most poly relationships all relationships are considered equal although there are some poly relationships where there is an agreed hierarchy.

Primary/Secondary Partner: In hierarchical relationships, there can be further definition given to each of the relationships. Sometimes a “nesting partner” is interchangeably used for the term primary partner.

You can get a fuller glossary of poly terms at Franklin Veaux’s site. Veaux literally wrote the book on ethical polyamory, “More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory

ARE THERE POLYAMOROUS SOCIAL GROUPS in PORTLAND?

There is a Portland Poly meet-up on the second and fourth Friday of every month. The meet-ups are casual, meet and greet, drop-in style hangouts. If you just want to see if there are other non-monogamous people out there, you’ll find them here. The meet-ups are also a great opportunity to ask questions, learn more about it, and even hear other people’s stories about the good times, and the not-so-good. Learn more on the Portland Polyamory Meetup Page.

Interested in groups near Portland, but live outside the city?  Check out the Portland Polyamory’s list of poly groups near Portland.

DO POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIPS in PORTLAND DO COUNSELING?

Poly relationships are no different than monogamous relationships. The key word is “relationships,” and with counseling, you can learn tools to better communicate with your partner(s) and develop tools to listen and express yourself better. The three primary reasons monogamous couples seek counseling can also be true for poly relationships as well. At Mindful Healing, we are sensitive to poly relationships and want to help all relationships become stronger.

DO I NEED INSURANCE TO SEE A THERAPIST?

No. In fact, at Mindful Healing Portland LLC., we accept clients on a sliding scale. We are currently accepting clients for our sliding scale rates.

 

Are you in a polyamory relationship living in or Portland or near the Portland Area and are interested in Couples and Poly Counseling?

E-MAIL US OR CALL US AT 503-878-8588 TO SCHEDULE YOUR INTAKE TODAY.